Viva daygame

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Two dates (revised)

I posted this earlier but took it down. This is an edited version. I got a bit worried about the privacy of individuals involved.

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Here’s a story. It begins with confusion and frustration, makes quite a twist, and ends in joy.

Last week I went on two dates, Tuesday and Wednesday. In some recent post I mentioned that I fucked up a date. That was Tuesday. She was very pretty, thin, intra-Finland exotic (from the north, less “flashy” and more down-to-earth behavior).

I met her and took her to my favorite first date venue. I commented on her height: she was a bit shorter than I remembered. This turned out to be a mistake…

In the bar I ended up talking a lot and it seemed like she wasn’t really that interested. I misread the situation pretty badly: her nonverbal signals communicated strong interest, a form of admiration even, but in her speech she was brief and, how to say, non-committal in some way. If I asked something, she gave an answer that could have been a quote from a scientific paper. She only stated what could be known for sure and nothing more 😀

This made me feel like I had made a strong first impression, but the more she could see of me, the more she lost interest. As if it was slowly revealed to her that I’m not at all what she first thought. It affected me a little bit. It shouldn’t, but it did.

All the time the real problem was that she was actually just not a very talkative person, and needed large amounts of space in the conversation to feel comfortable participating. More space than I could guess in that moment. This I would find out later.

After 25 min or so I thought ok, let’s just do something different. I asked her to stand up. I didn’t really know where I was going with it, but last time I was here on a date, I stood up with a girl and we had an electric moment standing close to each other. Bad move, she just got tenser. I said something about her height again, attempting to create an excuse to stand a little bit closer. She pulled away and started touching her purse as an indication that we should now finish the date.

What the fuck, I thought. Well fuck it then. Nothing I do is ever good enough.

Yeah. I had these thoughts.

We went separate ways. Later that night she sent me a text saying she felt inadequate, confused and hurt.

WHAT THE FUCK? I was feeling inadequate. Now SHE is complaining to ME???

I realize I was operating on a very childish level here. I guess we all have these kinds of feelings sometimes. I said I would be honest in this blog. I’m not proud of feeling these ways, but that evening, these were my thoughts.

A brief texting exchange followed. The reason she was hurt was that I commented on her height twice, and did not give her enough space to talk.

It was a very bizarre experience to have this conversation after thinking I had somehow failed to reach the finish line. I apologized to her for making it an unpleasant experience… whether or not any party was at fault is another matter but it just seemed like good karma.

It is true that on the date I should have opened my eyes more, read the situation with greater care and kept my mind open to different possible reasons for her reserved behavior. Like I said, her body language was telling the truth. And maybe I shouldn’t have commented on her height a second time 😀

*

I took a moment to allow my brain to reorganize everything. I thought she was just losing interest because I was somehow not good enough for her, whereas in reality, she was hurt because I didn’t listen to her. A pretty massive shift in my understanding of the situation.

The next evening I had another first date. I took her to the same bar. As a true student of game, I now corrected my behavior. I was more relaxed and super “soft” in everything I did: how I moved, how I talked, and especially in how I shut up and looked away frequently to give her space to talk. That doesn’t mean I didn’t touch her or throw in some dirty jokes. But a little goes a long way with that stuff. Afterwards we went on a walk and had a nice, warm hug.

As a consequence of my better understanding of the process of the first date, she texted me some days later and invited me over. Other factors may have contributed as well. We set the date for the weekend and met at her place. There was no hurry. We had some wine and went for a walk. The summer night was warm and windy. I put her hand on my dick.

We went back to her place and made it happen. I like her. Her spirit is soft in a way that matches me perfectly. But I admit, after all this Herculean effort, trial and error, there was a moment, as I was fucking her, that I thought to myself: number 2.

And this was, once again, a pure daygame lay. Last time it happened I met and smashed the girl on the same day. There was a kind of travel-adventure-vibe, because she was visiting from another city. This time, it was the opposite… we live in the same city and went on an actual date. No common friends, no running into each other at shared interest -related activities… just me going up to a stranger when she least expected it 😊

 

Stats, 4.8.2018:

Approaches: 322
Instant dates: 9
Contact info: 56
First dates: 5
Lays: 2

Mini text-game report

So here’s a little texting situation I found myself in today.

I met a tall, thin girl of perhaps 19 years on Saturday. Ran up to her from behind (I love this move, although in this little village… just waiting to get a reputation). Chatted about travelling and stuff, got her number. I ran it pretty well, up to my humble potential at the moment I’d say.

Let me tell you the relevant info
-She lives in a small town nearby. Comes here on weekends
-She’s young, hot, well travelled, fashionable = probably has a lot of suitors. This means my impression may be lost in the noise.

Logistically my chance to meet her is next weekend. It’s a looong ass time away. My options then are

1) Do not contact her before Thursday or Friday, and then with the purpose of setting up a meet
2) Contact her now, fairly soon after meeting her, in order to refresh the impression I made

I picked option number two. Number one is highly risky, I sense a 99% chance of no meetup. Impressions fade in fast game. Number two requires understanding. It may go wrong but it may go right. I texted her today (Tuesday). Here’s how our text conversation went:

Hey Xx, how’s it going?
-Markus traveler

Hi! I’m fine just got home from work. How about you?

Same, just got home. You look really badass in your Whatsapp profile pick 😀

A little different from when we met 😀 different style every day

Yep, pretty big contrast
So what’s your style today?

Busy casual

=I overslept 😉
Do you have a dream job relating to style things or is this just a hobby?

Noo I just like it
Funny you should ask cause last time I was in London, someone also asked me if I’m studying fashion

You look like you put in effort in your style… although last time it looked like the wind+your choice of outfit caused some problems 😊

Yeah it was a bit windy 😀
What was it you do? School, work?

 
Let me break down for you what went on beneath the surface.

Hey Xx, how’s it going?
-Markus traveler

Hi! I’m fine just got home from work. How about you?

Same, just got home. You look really badass in your Whatsapp profile pick 😀
-when we met, she had a girly dress and pink shoes, on which I commented

A little different from when we met 😀 different style every day

Yep, pretty big contrast
So what’s your style today?

Busy casual
-after this, a moment of silence. I thought hard, should I invest more in this conversation, or leave it there? I felt that the purpose of the conversation (refreshing the impression I made) had not been achieved. There was no turning back.

=I overslept 😉
Do you have a dream job relating to style things or is this just a hobby?
-a small tease + chitchat about something personal. I’m fucking proud of this. This is what young hotties respond to… I think

Noo I just like it
Funny you should ask cause last time I was in London, someone also asked me if I’m studying fashion
-ok now she’s investing again. Nice

You look like you put in effort in your style… although last time it looked like the wind+your choice of outfit caused some problems 😊
– When we met she had to constantly keep her dress down with her hand. So the formula here was compliment about something she cares about + tease

Yeah it was a bit windy 😀
What was it you do? School, work?
-Ok the first battle is won. I managed to reactivate her interest and now she is contributing.

The big question now is, how do I proceed?

-Just a very plain answer?
-More chitchat?
-More teasing?
-If both, at what ratio?
-Should there be a question in my next message or not?
-Something completely different?

I chose a path and put my money on it. What would you have done and why?

Bllaargh!! A stream of thought, straight from my brain.

What’s up everyone. I have a million thoughts in my head about daygame and man-to-woman interactions in general. Not speculation but interpretation, raw models that I’m forming based on stuff that happens in the trenches. So get ready for that.

Briefly:

I go out regularly, and I’ve been on a few dates with hot hot girls just recently 😊 I’ve also messed up a couple of prospects with bad texting, but I’ve learned to maneuver the texting a lot better than before. Going on the dates themselves is a chaos of riddles… but the answers are starting to crystallize. Slowly.

So no new lays… but it seems like I’m getting closer and closer. I don’t know if I am, but I will keep walking the path. Occasionally this stuff depresses me, but right now I’m excited.

*

Okay time for my brain-vomit. You’ve been warned.

Some things unique about various fast forms of game, like daygame

During an evening with close friends last year I told them a story about how I visited a girl was seeing, but I was too stressed from work to have sex with her. The arrangement we had was one where sexual release was playing the main part. I explained that if that happens again, she probably won’t make much effort to see me again. We were living about an hour’s drive from each other, and she had a child, so scheduling was always a challenge.

One of my friends said something along the following lines: if she won’t see you because of something like that, then maybe that’s not a person you should be with.

When a layman is “seeing someone”, it is usually under the premise that a serious, monogamous, long-term relationship is the goal. The feasibility of that is what’s being evaluated.

For this reason, when someone who practices, let’s call it fast game (fast game: approaching and interacting with women in order to have sex with them FIRST, and then see if there’s desire or potential for any other kind of collaboration), attempts to explain it’s challenges to a layman, he is often met with confusion or misinterpretation.

For this reason it’s also pointless to seek sympathy for any problems you have in game. A person who has decided to learn fast game often has to endure quite a lot of frustration. This frustration would be viewed by the layman as childish and self-inflicted.

I’m not saying this is wrong. Depending on sympathy is not productive, and one could argue that since fast game gets no sympathy, that is the ultimate game a man can play.

Now, if the fastgamer (cool words I’m coming up with, no?) is frustrated because he is unable to have sex with ADDITIONAL women, and has already had many women in his life, or is even currently seeing one or more women, then the layman’s point is arguable. There are many men who are completely unable to get women in bed, and the reasons may range from just being unwilling to floss, all the way to being severely disfigured. One day our dicks will decompose, so why not be grateful for every sexual experience we have? Buddhism talks about small desire, which is a great idea.

However, in my case, and I suspect in many other fastgamers’ cases, the thing that can cause frustration is not the lack of sex, or feeling like you deserve something automatically and are not getting it, but another thing. Frustration comes from knowing I’m a good guy (I know I’m a good lover. I know how to treat a woman and I’m very, very good in bed), but there being a sort of glass wall between me and women. I find that my own challenges in daygame are to a large extent that I do not know how to communicate, in the types of situations daygame entails, how good I am. The woman misses it. I could create a revolution in her sex life, but she never sees that chance.

This leads me to another thing I’ve been thinking about. I’ve approached way over 200 women now, but still just got 1 or 1,5 of those in my bed, depending on how you count. HOW the hell can that be?

In daygame, there are a thousand skills which must be fine-tuned.

 

-How close do I stand

-Do I compliment her

-Do I temper the compliment with a tease

-How do I make her feel like I care about more than her appearance

-Where do I take her on a date

-How do I know if it’s appropriate or too pushy to try to bring her home at the end of the date

-Do I say “hey next week we could do this” or “yeah it was nice. Have a good evening” and just walk off.

 

These are broadest of the broad strokes.

 

See, normally when boy meets girl, it’s through mutual acquaintances or a shared activity. There they see different sides of each other. For example, imagine how much more you see about a person when you observe them interacting with other people, compared to just you and that person having one-on-one interactions.

Then boy and girl go on a date. They probably know already that the other party is also a bit infatuated. Sometimes the date reveals that no, it’s not gonna work. Sometimes the date flows so smoothly that a lovey-dovey boyfriend-girlfriend arrangement quickly begins to take form. Monogamy is assumed, slimy genitals are rubbed together in the perfect bliss of acceptance and commitment.

When you text a girl you met in daygame, she usually has about 5-10 minutes of experience of you. And those minutes were pretty intense, since both felt the stakes were high. If she misinterprets a text message, that’s going to form a larger proportion of her experience of you, than if you talk to her every week in Spanish class or whatever. She won’t have many reference point about you, and an unfavorable interpretation may cast a shadow too dark.

This is why a good prospect can be ruined by bad texting, and masterful text maneuvering can bring back a prospect who is on the fence. I was confused by this earlier.

Example of a small success:

Approached her on Sunday. Very pretty. This conversation took place on Monday.

 

Me: Hey XX, how are you?

Me: -Markus Conqueror of Mountains (this was a reference to something we talked about when I approached her in the street)

 

Her: Hey Markus 😊 I’m doing fine! Just going to the center, even if this heat is a bit too much :O

Her: How has your week started?

 

Me: Yeah (thumbsup) Pretty easy, a bit of yoga and beer on the terrace. How’s your next few days, would to have time to meet over a cup of coffee?

 

Her: Okey (thumbsup)

Her: Tell me why came to talk to me?

 

Me: First it was just an impulse. I asked for your number because you were polite and you like nature

 

Her: Okay 😀 do you often go up to women led by impulse?

 

Me: Naah… I’m quite picky 😊

Me: Anyway, I still have tomorrow night free if you want to meet 😊

 

Her: Well ok we can meet 😊

 

Twice she sent clarifying questions before agreeing. Previously I would probably have crumbled: given some looong explanation and then immediately requested confirmation for the meetup. But now I understood that she wanted to feel special. She was special. My replies soothed her, so we met the next evening… but I fucked up on the date royally 😀

See, the same thing can happen on the date if you have very little experience of each other… very small things can send it astray. It seems to me that often laymen ask each other “how did the date go”, and they mean, were you destined to be together? To that question one is supposed to answer either it went well, or, yeah I don’t know maybe we don’t have so much in common.

I’m not saying it’s not a good idea for a fastgamer to find commonalities.

But when the fastgamer says, yeah it was going well but then I got physical a bit too fast, then tried to recover by talking about my dog, then I touched her again, then this and that happened… the layman is bewildered. What does that have to do with anything? Can’t you just get to know each other and see if it’s meant to be?

Again, “it” is not even on the table yet when a fastgamer goes on a date. The possibility for sex is. And the faster shit moves, the smaller the error margins.

I don’t have any final answers to conclude this. I personally feel like daygame is important for the universe, and that I owe the women I meet to give them a great experience. I’m regularly doing daygame again and topmost is a burning curiosity.

Actually, even daygame isn’t important. But it’s what I do.

Shooting in the dark

Consistent practice.

Be yourself.

Those things have been on my mind lately.

I may take a break from writing. I will not take a break from daygame, but I have nothing to report. I’m shooting in the dark, I don’t know where to go next. I don’t want to come here and say that over and over again. So, until I have something new to say.

Back into it.

Hey boys and girls and everything else.

My summer vacation is over. Three weeks, on the road almost all the time. Did a lot of snus, a little bit of daygame, spent some time with my girl. Yes, I am seeing someone regularly. Been for over 2 years. For those of you uninitiated in the arts of open relationships… it’s a very loving and affectionate relationship, AND she knows EXACTLY what’s going on. Gotta love women 😉

This week I’m getting back to regular daygame. Today I went out and approached. I gotta admit, it’s scary as hell after two weeks of not doing anything 😀

I’ve had some time now to meditate on all this crap. I did almost 200 approaches before my vacation. Some of those of course had no potential to begin with (not everyone can like everyone). So those that had potential, why haven’t they gone anywhere, all except one? The reason seems to be it’s all too mechanical. Even when I’m on fire, the arc of the interaction (from open to instadate/texting, to finally fizzling out, in other words no more contact) has a step-by-step, impersonal feel to it. There is no exciting storyline. Is it going to go somewhere? It’s not going anywhere! Oh but maybe it is! Now this happened, he handled it so well! Oh my god! Ahh, now I’m on his couch, taking off my clothes!!

Also, I think the girls have been sensing that I’m not interested in THEM but just in getting SOME girl. The validity of this way of feeling is a whole other discussion. This blog is not the place to get into that. What’s important is solving the problem.

There’s not much room for exciting storyline in daygame. The solutions are difficult for me to see at the moment, but I have decided what I’m going to try next. I will be more free-flowing and share more opinions in my initial conversation, both positive and negative, and preferably about the girl herself or things that we both like talking about. Less of trying to repeat patterns that I’ve settled into.

*

Tomorrow is a new day.

I don’t want to look at the stats right now, I need to focus on action. So I’ll update those later.

I have visitors to this blog almost every day now. Maybe one day soon I can tell you about real adventures 😊

Greetings from Warsaw

Warsaw was close and cheap, so I came here for a week. I have done a lot of daygame.

Results… there are none. Instant dates and texting yes, but no passing on of DNA to future generations.

I like to think that at least I’m learning. I’m constantly tweaking, trying things. The future will tell. I knew this was going to be a lot of work.

So nothing to report right now, but I wanted to write and say I’m still at work, especially since I’ve had a bit of traffic on here lately.