Grinding

Slowly working on it.

I had a bit of a burnout from going out six days in a row. It’s a bizarre phenomenon but it happens to me sometimes. So last week I approached only nine women (4+5), taking great care not to overtrain.

I am very reluctant to quit for even a week. I’ve felt the burnout before, when systematically practicing night game. At times I’ve persisted and at other times I’ve quit. Quitting leads nowhere. So I have to work not harder, but smarter than before.

Today I did ten. I was very concerned about overtraining, but I turned this sensitivity into an advantage: I made less of an effort in each interaction. Everything felt healthier. Two numbers. One with a boyfriend! But I really believed I was a better option for her.

Now it’s late and I have to get up early, some construction guys are coming to do something to my window. May they live forever.

*

I have previously worried about starting to be known by young girls in the center.

I have also worried that if I accidentally make a creepy or insulting approach, WORD WILL GET AROUND.

Today, I didn’t care. It was not an unpleasant feeling. May it last forever.

 

Stats, 22.5.2018:

Approaches: 175
Instant dates: 3
Contact info: 34
First dates: 2
Lays: 1

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Up… and down

After two weeks of not going out properly, I did a super week. Or rather tried to… Sunday to Friday I went out and approached 10, 10, 5 ,5, 16, 11 women. Numbers were fat and juicy, but my game was off.

This week was the worst so far when it comes to performance. My vibe and attitude were really shit most days, and one reason is lack of sleep. After Monday’s adventure with Redhead, I slept only four hours. After this, I kept getting four or five hours a night almost all week. I need to tape some cardboard and black plastic over my window, otherwise this will never change. The sun rises super early in summer in these parts.

I also had a bit of success hangover from Monday. I didn’t really need to use much skill, so part of my brain kept telling me I’m a fake. A lot of weird shit comes up in this sport. I can’t decide to never have these feelings come up, but I can decide to keep practicing. There’s a lot of different forms of pain involved in daygame, more for some people and less for others. The truth is, I have a shitload of this stuff. But I’m fine with that. I don’t care.

The answer is very simple, but hard to accept. You can either keep going and try to learn how to handle these feelings, or you can not do any of this. If I took option number two, I couldn’t learn daygame. I want to learn daygame.

Anyway, this weekend I took two days off. Tomorrow I’ll hit the streets and do 10. Perhaps I shall keep a rhythm of 3*10 or 4*10. This streak of six days, 57 approaches, was a bit too much.

I also went on another date. I took the girl back to my place. We kissed and touched a little.

The name of the “Dates” variable is now “First dates”, because that’s what I actually mean by it. For example, the date I went on this week doesn’t count towards that variable. The reason is that the step from daygame approach and texting TO going on a date, is the one that requires the finest art and the most exact science, and thus is the more interesting variable.

 

Stats, 13.5.2018:

Approaches: 156
Instant dates: 3
Contact info: 32
First dates: 2
Lays: 1

Kallio delivers

Spoiler alert!

 

 

 

 

 

It happened. I can now add the “Lays” variable to these reports.

*

I finished work at 3 pm. Got home, did some yoga, had a snack and went out. I went to Kallio, an area in Helsinki. Nothing ever works there. But that’s just a statistical anomaly. So I’ll fucking make it work.

First chick I approached was an Estonian insurance salesperson. I saw her from afar, meeting me on an empty, sunny, quiet street. Blonde, red lipstick. So I was turned on. Game was ok, I took her number and it seemed positive.

After this, a blur of women with boyfriends… all of them. Really hot girls. Gotta give that to Kallio.

All except approach number three or four. A skinny, decadent looking chick with big, red hair. Hot!

“Hey. Don’t worry, I’m not drunk or crazy or anything… but I saw you on the zebra crossing. I thought you looked good, so I decided to come and say hi 😊”

She was on some trip that was part of her studies. We talked about dogs and dialects.

I asked her how long she is staying in Helsinki. Just tonight. Ok, we should go for a beer then! Yeeeeah, maybeee… she likes to go with the flow, she doesn’t like being too systematic. I tell her I’m a systematic bastard, but I regularly remind myself to jump into the flow.

I took her number, walked off and kept training.

A very dry session from there on. After nine approaches, I decided to turn back and do the last one on the way home. During the session I had approached a couple of girls that upon closer inspection were not so hot, and as I had one approach left, I decided to look for a really hot girl.

Of course there’s no limit to how much one can approach. But I’ve found that for me, sticking to the routine is sustainable, whereas approaching endlessly, or outside of my training sessions, is not.

Suddenly she stood before me. Round sunglasses, leggings and some kind of skirt with nice patters. Leather jacket, hot body. Symmetrical, wholesome face and… red lipstick 😊 Classics are classics because they work 😊 Only problem was, she was standing by a crossing, waiting for the green light. Oh well, she’s too hot to skip. I have to do it!

I chatted her up. We crossed the street together. Perhaps not optimal to follow her, but there was no realistic option. She missed her bus. We sat down at the bus stop and waited for the next one. I had trouble keeping the conversation going, but we exchanged numbers and the vibe was remarkably positive.

*

After I got home, I considered texting Redhead. I didn’t feel like it. Maybe I’ll just watch some crap, go to sleep and start all over again tomorrow.

Then my neighbors started having sex. Maybe I’m weird, but I find it super arousing to listen to… especially since the guy doesn’t make any noise 😀 The girl was being smashed properly today, I even heard the slapping of hips and occasionally the furniture scraping against the floor.

I got damn horny and texted Redhead. She happened to be staying in a hostel nearby. We agreed to meet.

My mind raced to the future, to the moment when I can say, I have gotten laid from daygame. I did what I could to calm myself down and take on the attitude, “this is just practice. I’ll go on the date and practice setting a sexual mood!” There are still gaping holes in my game, so I don’t get many dates, as you can see from my stats. So I programmed myself in this way.

I knew from previous dates, that sometimes when I try to lead the girl, I do it in a way where it sounds like I’m begging and hoping for her to grant me some favor. So as I walked down to the meeting spot, my brain was already arranging how to ask for each thing (let’s go for a walk. Let’s go for a beer. Hey, let’s go to my place and X). Learning is a pretty cool process.

This girl was completely compliant to everything, so you could say, I did not get her with my game. We took a walk. Then went to a bar near my place (she knew we were going closer to mine all the time). I asked her about her guilty pleasures (thank you, Tom Torero). I dug a deeper and found out she watches too much porn and horror movies for her own good.

Cool.

“Hey, do you wanna go to my place to watch some horror?”

Yes.

We got to mine. Sat on the couch. I put on Ash vs Evil Dead. Within ten minutes I started kissing her. She did not let go. The situation escalated almost without interruption.

At one point she told me, she hasn’t been with many men lately. She’s been more with girls.

Oh, that’s cool.

Back to kissing and touching… and it happened.

*

We had briefly talked about rough sex earlier in the bar. I pulled her hair and choked her. I choked her for quite a long while, and apparently she came four times during that.

Sweet, decadent, pessimistic girl. There’s a specific reason I’m happy with this lay… it was a pure daygame lay. We do not have any friends in common, nor any other connection. Two complete strangers. That’s pure daygame. Standard issue for many more skilled guys. A first for me.

Now I gotta update my leads spreadsheet so I don’t forget to text the sunglass hippy chick.

 

Stats, 7.5.2018:

Approaches: 118
Instant dates: 3
Contact info: 25
Dates: 2
Lays: 1

The fog dissipates

Went out. Approached ten women.

After two weeks of not going out properly, I was nervous. Very concerned about not knowing what to say.

The first two were really bad, but then the rust started coming off.

It was a pretty uneventful session. Many girls had a boyfriend and some had to catch a bus. Got a couple of numbers, either of which I’m not super hopeful about. But walking back home, I felt happy. And carefree. There was nothing to fix or arrange, all was good as it was.

Aaaand I was on date with an eighteen-year old. I love the uncomplicated way very young women express themselves.

*

Instant date means I approached a girl, and we went on some sort of “date” then and there. The other date variable is the number or dates I’ve gone on that were not instant dates.

 

Stats, 6.5.2018:

Approaches: 108
Instant dates: 3
Contact info: 22
Dates: 1

Knocked out for a while

The blog’s been quiet for over ten days. You thought I’d quit daygame, didn’t you?

I’m travelling for work a lot. This week almost every day. In the weekend I was incapacitated for three days by a stomach bug. And I went hiking with J and acquired some wood for a furniture project. So I’m behind on few things and still feel a little slowed down by the illness.

But last Thursday I found time to go out.

Headed out at 7 pm or so. On a bus stop near my apartment I talked to a strawberry blonde with red pants. She came to the bus stop just to smoke and wait for her boyfriend. They were in the middle of some argument. I took her number. In case they can’t sort out their issues, you know. Gonna text her today.

Then I went after an artsy/hippy looking girl. I ran up beside her, touched her arm and said hi, and then, instead of stopping, sort of circled around until I stood right in front of her. God damn I love this move. I learned it from Tom Torero. No idea if he invented it.

This girl was my type: into theater, a little lost in life. Red lipstick. I think her eyes were brown and turquoise in concentric circles. Pretty cool. We went for tea. After, I hugged her and lifted her off the ground. She loved it. Since texting fucking sucks, I’m thinking of calling her today. That’s not normal but why not try. We’ll see.

*

Next, a little bit of introspection. Skip if you don’t care.

After Saturday I’m looking to go out regularly again. There’s even room in my calendar for a 10-10 challenge, another thing I heard from Tom Torero. It means going out for ten days in a row, talking to ten girls each day. We’ll see.

So not many new adventures this time. I read some pickup theory and watched a bunch of videos when I was sick. They made me think, perhaps I’m still trying to hide my true intentions. Chit-chatting about unstimulating topics. Instead I could call her a funny name or compare her to some cute animal. When I was young I sometimes looked a girl in the eye, mentioned something about her and said, I think that’s fucking sexy. What happened to that spirit??

It seems to be hidden under bad habits that don’t serve the purpose. This daygame project has shaved away some of the unnecessary bullshit from my behavior. Like laughing or smiling when I don’t really feel that way. Or trying to touch the girl in an awkward way just to make a point of touching her, when instead that could be postponed to a time when it’s more mutually pleasant.

I think I’m starting to see shapes in the horizon. Huge entities, unstoppable and completely oblivious to the needs of men. One of these shapes seems to be an understanding of a generalized version of a young woman’s experience of being approached and taken to bed. Another thing seems to tell me to focus on playing with sexual tension, instead of trying to “get to know the girl”.

But yeah. These are very, very vague ideas. They may just as well be hallucinations. It’s possible that my brain has made them up to protect my ego. The mechanism would be this: “Ok, I haven’t gotten laid from daygame yet… but look at this really deep idea that I have! I understand women!!”

The combination of an excessively technical and introspective brain, and the desire to conquer and explore, can be a bitch. Fortunately, other men have gone before me, and they say: adjust the variables that are in your control. They also say: the variable that most correlates with your chance of getting better at game (approaching women and taking them to bed), in the beginning of learning, is the number or women approached, or to be more specific, density of approaching (if you approach 100 women in two years, that’s probably not teaching you a lot. Approaching 100 women in a month will teach you a lot). This is not my thought, but I’ll take their word for it.

What’s funny is this… the numbers look so simple. Any man without a disability or a job that takes him away for months at a time can say: I will go out three times a week, and approach 10 women each time!!

Any man can find three blocks of time in his week to do that.

Any man can learn two or three different openers, so he won’t have to be fucking paralyzed with terror. You think this is a joke? Ask all your male friends, could you approach ten attractive women in the street? Most will say “yeeeeeaah sure I cooooould….. but you knooow, that’s not really my thing you know……. I think it should just haaappen…..” Take the ones who say yes and go out in the street with them… now watch them squirm.

When the time comes, a man will find it unusually difficult to tie his shoelaces and open his front door. It’s so hard, that even if he gets his shoes on, he may suddenly remember he had this extremely important email to send. Or maybe he has to pick up something from the store, right now, because later there won’t be time.

So the variable is easy to understand… but harder to execute.

A war-cry loud as Heimdal’s horn
Fills the vibrating air
This is the place where heroes are born
And where death is always near

Here it comes the mighty storm
Every man attacks
Now is when heroes are born
There is no turning back

(Amon Amarth, An Ancient Sign of Coming Storm. Fate of the Norns, Metal Blade Records, 2004)